https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sjSHazjrWg&feature=kp

“She is a hippie at heart,” my cousin Julia said about me in third person, to her friends.  I must have triggered it by talking about the Beatles.  I panicked inside, not wanting this conversation of explaining who I am or who I am not.  The group of boys with baseball caps pointed to the back and girls in denim shorts and tank-tops looked at me with disbelief.  Her? But she looks normal, kind of like us. I heard the question in their minds and a pause, waiting for me to deny the allegations.

I widened my eyes and smile and said, “Yes, I am a hippie, I just don’t wear the costume.”  I liked my own line so much that I repeated it almost each time, I was discovered as a hippie later in life.

How could wanting peace not be cool?  It is too hard to love unconditionally everything and everybody at all time, but being at war with the world and yourself is much harder.  I’d rather start by wanting love and peace instead of resolving to hopelessness, mistrust, sadness, isolation, self-doubt, hatred, and general dissatisfaction.  I don’t get to peace most of the time.  I try and try and fail sometimes having awful days instead of the good ones, I had prepared for myself in the morning.  Something goes wrong.  Sometimes there is a fight of wills, stress and time.

When my son, Isaiah, tries something new, he gets frustrated that he can’t do it right away.

“If you are trying, you are accomplishing,” I say to him, but it sounds much better in Russian because it rhymes.  

To live peacefully is to try for a lifetime, and if I am trying, I am accomplishing.

This is not nearly my favorite Cat Stevens songs, but if I saw a peace train, I would jump upon it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7iLPnDCQ1g

Peace train by Cat Stevens and Yusuf Islam

Now I’ve been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun

Oh I’ve been smiling lately, dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be, some day it’s going to come

Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again

Now I’ve been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller

Everyone jump upon the peace train
Come on now peace train

Get your bags together, go bring your good friends too
Cause it’s getting nearer, it soon will be with you

Now come and join the living, it’s not so far from you
And it’s getting nearer, soon it will all be true

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train

Now I’ve been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating, why can’t we live in bliss

Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller

Everyone jump upon the peace train
Come on peace train
Yes, it’s the peace train